Old Friend Pain

I have been two days without any ibuprofen, just to see if the pain is still there, or even scarier, if the ibuprofen is causing some of the pain. My neck is sore and can barely be turned. my thumbs feel like they've been abused in some weird Chinese torture ritual, my right shoulder feels somewhat dislocated. Below the waist I'm not so bad although the first few steps after being in any position for more than a half hour are a little painful and off balance. I have been falling asleep without help though and seem to get the same number of hours as usual - I'm just more relieved when I can finally get up after being still for that long. I've been reading The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball (good read!) and wishing I had the physical ambition to do that kind of hard work, raising food for myself and others, farming. I think it would be too painful, if not impossible.  If there were not so many things left that I can do I would feel really bad about the things I'm thinking of crossing off the list.

But it is nearly February and time for the annual lesson in how not to garden in Florida. There are dozens of ways and I know I've not tried them all yet. One of these years something will work. I'm going to try not to spend any money this season (that was one of the things that didn't work last year). I've only lost a couple plants so far to cold weather and lack of water and am hoping the danger of freezing is past. I have ideas...  I'm wondering about chickens.

I bought a shirt from a company that makes travel clothes. I thought it would be a great light jacket for my Cambodia trip but I didn't wear it even once. It has polka dots, or maybe just dots, all over it. I guess polka dots are evenly arranged in a pattern - my own definition. For some reason I am drawn to spots like this on clothing, maybe thinking that other spots will be hidden much more easily. But I don't like them nearly as much when I see them on me. This black shirt with white dots makes me feel like a large domino with legs. What the catalog said is true, it doesn't wrinkle and that is a point in its favor.

I've only had to work four days a week for the last two weeks and it has been so helpful. With this kind of schedule, the job I have has a lot in common with the job I always thought of as the perfect job (see previous blog). This calm, adequately staffed period of time probably will not last forever, but I've been enjoying it. Some days I get up and work like a madwoman doing errands, cleaning, shopping, having people over for dinner. Other days (today) I don't make my bed but stay in it reading until midmorning, do only one thing from my to do list (wash outside lanai windows) and don't rush anywhere for anything. I'm practicing for retirement should I ever be forced into it.

Why I Write

I needed this to come back to my attention, and it did - strange how that happens...

It is August 8, 2006.  I am typing badly.  I have poison ivy starting on my arm and have been to the doctor yesterday hoping to keep it from going full blown.  She is a doctor who is pretty okay with giving me medications for my symptoms and of the three things she prescribed for me I have chosen to take only the prednisone for now.  It upsets stomachs and maybe that is why I can’t sleep tonight.  Maybe it is also the headache, fever like heat in my body and scratchy throat.  Maybe it is the purring of the cat, snoring of the husband, humming of the computer in my bedroom.  Common things all add up and produce uncommon results. 

As I lay unable to sleep my thoughts went to this afternoon’s encounter with a friend who needed a ride to a job interview.  I was pondering “Freedom Village”, the place where we were, and once again I was thinking that this might be a good place to work.  They are trying to take everything an elderly person might need and put it under one umbrella – food, shelter, aesthetics, health care, recreation, social contact and help with meeting these needs at whatever level a person requires, from independence to total care.  Surely as a nurse, a caretaker, a cook, a good driver, a seamstress, a musician, a “handy” person, I should be able to find the perfectly satisfying job doing things for these people, yes?  I imagined myself walking into their HR office and asking for a chance to describe my “dream job” and just seeing if they wanted to buy me. 

This led to all kinds of reflection on my “dream job” and all the jobs I’ve had that didn’t measure up completely and why I am still searching.  At 55 I have to face the possibility that I could die without having discovered what God wants me to be doing now as the culmination of all he’s given me and taught me.  I could miss this thing for which I was created.  A sense of sadness and frustration and something like fear came over me which I can only remember feeling one other time.  And that time came up before me like a movie on a screen, because I have always regarded it as one of my pivotal moments.  I can’t remember exactly when I was “born again” or other important times you would think surely to be memorable, but I remember this experience with God.  It seemed one sided at the time too, but it was definitely attended by the Lord as well.  I wanted a child.  And in a very personal moment with God I realized and confessed to him that I just wanted this child because I wanted to share with someone who God was to me.  I wanted someone to mentor, to love and to influence not just for me but so that God could also have the joy of that person meeting their potential and loving Him.  It wasn’t a demand that I was making but a realization.  I realized why I wanted children but more importantly I realized why God might want children too.  It was a moment of identification, an “aha” moment.  It changed my idea of why God would value and love me, or Adam and Eve, or aborigines in New Guinea or anyone that he created.  God is a creator and he loves what he creates and desires to be in fellowship with his potentially most satisfying creation.  Wow.  I also gave it up and decided that if God didn’t want me to be a parent and hadn’t created me suitable for that purpose I would be unhappy pursuing it.  I wanted to accept whatever God’s wisdom knew was best for me and be at peace.

A few weeks later I was pregnant with my first child, after having tried for two years with no success.  Two passages of scripture became special to me as a result of this new turn in my life.  One said to trust in the Lord and lean not to my own understanding – to acknowledge him in all my ways and he would direct my path.  The other encouraged me to tell the Lord the desires of my heart because he delighted to give them to me.  The passages work together because only by acknowledging the Lord in every way can I be sure that the desires of my heart are true, God glorifying desires that he can give me. 

So next I pondered the job of being a parent.  Was it the “dream job”?  Yes, I really felt it was in so many ways (if you don’t count things like salary, job recognition, pension…).  But I had only Julie and Esther.  And was I able to accomplish what I told God I wanted to do with them?  I understand now that parenting is intensive in the first 18 or so years but it really never ends.  My parents are still influencing me so much!

 I started thinking about how I could continue to tell them about the reality of God because that is what it all boils down to in my mind.  Is God real or are we making him up in our minds?  I have dealt with this question time and time again, and I admit I toy with it from time to time – mostly when I see someone else heading down that path.  I know I can’t prove God to anyone and in fact I can’t even prove him to myself.  But God did give me the capacity to choose belief and act on it, and then he seizes the moment and begins to prove himself to me over a lifetime.  The earlier in life I choose to believe, the more fun I have with God. 

So here are the choices.  We all believe something.  We can decide to not deal with God because the idea is too frustrating and hard to figure out and we can’t make sense of it. (Why are we praying if God knows what we want?  If God hears every prayer why does it make any difference if thousands of people are praying for you?  If God made the rules in the first place why did he decide that someone had to die to atone for sin?  Why did he decide not to actually talk to so many of us?  I could go on forever.)  But that still leaves a lot of big questions regarding origins, purpose, philosophy of life and when thoughts of death occur you can never quite dispel the possibility that you could be wrong about the whole thing and then what?  Ooops.   To my way of thinking, everyone who has not given their lives over to God, to Christ as Lord, is just deciding not to deal with him – yet.  And you really do have everything to lose. 

So the other alternative is to go ahead and believe.  Logically speaking, who would not like to believe that they were conceived and created with love, that they were valued, that there was a way to live in happiness despite circumstances, that there is help beyond our understanding, and hope that all things even though they be not good can be used for good ultimately.  And when life is over, the really good stuff is just beginning because you were not made for this life only – it was just your education and time of proving.  Wouldn’t it just be a much easier, happier choice?  (Please let’s not get into martyrs and persecution just yet.)

I think a lot of us don’t make this decision because we can’t prove God to people who are going to challenge us.  It makes us feel stupid to believe something we can’t prove.  But really have you ever asked a nonbeliever to prove what he believes?  Proof is way overrated. And we care way too much what other people think and way too little about what a Creator God would think and do if he were real.  If you decide to start believing and turn over to God the job of proving himself and be persistent and trusting, like a child, your education will begin.  And to those who are still just being pragmatic – you really have nothing to lose that you aren’t going to lose anyway. 

This is really what I wanted to plant in my children as a starting point.  And I wanted to help them open their eyes along the way and see every evidence that God sent them.  I wanted to help them put their fears in God’s hands – we all have fears.  I wanted to point out to them the physical and spiritual rewards that God passes out, and the natural penalties of ignoring his direction.  And I wanted them to see how delighted I was with them and that I thought God also felt that way. 

Did God give me other children besides Julie and Esther?  I have no doubt he gave me plenty of people to feed and listen to and encourage.  Maybe I was close enough to them that they would also value my story and my way of thinking and believing.  Maybe I should try to tell it to all of the children that God gave me to care about – to Elisha, Tiffany, Jasmine, Shantala, Tanya, Melanie, Jonathan, Christine, Jayson, Nikki, Sony, Todd, Sara, Jessie, Josh, Amy, Tim, Jess, Matt,  Johnny, Krystal, Cheryl, my nieces and nephews, my piano students, the sick children I took care of, the young girls I did Mary Kay with, the dear little children in my church… 

Not too long ago I had an interaction with a lady in the Unitarian Church.  She wanted my husband to come to their worship service and provide inspirational music for them.  It’s my understanding that they somewhat worship cultural achievement and the talents of men and aren’t really sure who to credit for these things.  I had already spent a lot of time thinking about what needed to be said to someone like this woman – a lady in her eighties, well dressed, wealthy appearing and comfortable with her spirituality – and suddenly I was telling God what I would say to her and asking to make the opportunity for me to do it.  I felt the same desire to tell her as I did many years ago to tell my unborn children about a wonderful God, a God who is sovereign, makes the decisions, and is a jealous God when it come to his creation and who they worship.  Again it is a moment of realization that the desire of my heart is to tell other people, like this woman, about this very real God that they can get to know, a God who is certainly big enough to figure out how to prove himself to a willing believer.  After all he is God – duh.  If he can’t bring his own creation to a knowledge of himself we are all worthless and he is not worth worshipping.  What he has used many times to prove himself to me has been the concept of family, the relationship of love between parents and children, husbands and wives.  What he uses to bring it home to you may be entirely different because he knows you, how you think and the quickest, most lasting way to your heart. 

It is now 4 am and I had better try to sleep and hope the Lord has somehow birthed in me a “dream job” to pursue.  I felt that I needed to write this night’s experience down rather than risk forgetting it.  It was a matter of obedience and trust in divine inspiration.  And God has proved a part of himself to me once again. 

All over the place

I've been plagued lately with short random thoughts and recollections and I have to write them out so I can quit thinking about them. One cool morning this last week, I was covering up my client with a beach towel after her swim and it looked a bit cape-like so the subject of Superman came up. Doesn't your mind jump right there when you hear the word cape? Thinking about childhood super heroes and dressing up like them led me to thinking of my childhood imaginings. Maybe it was before Superman's time, I don't know, but I used to imagine I was a squirrel. And not a Rocky and Bullwinkle type of squirrel either - just a plain forest creature. Our living room had a generous sized upholstered chair with wide arms that I would crouch on, with my blankie tucked into the waistband of my two piece jammies. It would hang long behind me (think tail) and flip around when I jumped over to other pieces of furniture (think trees). It was fun. I was not the only kid in the family doing that. I'm not sure what age I was but I was small enough to fit under the TV table on a shelf. TVs were almost as big as a washing machine and they sat on squarish stands, table height with a hole in the middle for all the electronic heat to escape.

This week I gave up my 20 year old driver's license for a new updated one with a new updated picture of me on it. Twenty years ago I looked a whole different color than I do now and it was confusing for people, so it was time - nevertheless, I kind of grieved giving up the old one. It was kind of like parting with a piece of history. They should have let me keep it.  But the part of the process that I can't quit thinking about was the vision test I had to take. Keep in mind that I had just been to the optometrist the week before for my yearly vision exam and there was nothing unusual about it. I had my contacts in. Everything was clear and easy to read, until she asked me to tell what was in a row of boxes on the right of the screen. Those boxes were empty, clear and empty, but that was not the right answer. She encouraged me to look harder - at empty boxes?  So, I'm starting to sweat a little at this point because I had told her there would be no issue with my vision test and clearly there seemed to be one. I switched to a different machine and looked at it's empty boxes for a while. She told me to turn my head a little but the empty boxes looked pretty much the same that way too. Patiently, she asked me if I had monovision contacts, which I do, and told me to look harder.  I think the test is for distances greater than the length of one's car - far vision, but my eye whose job it was to see far was the one seeing nothing. When I closed that eye, the near vision eye saw ever so faintly, blurry letters in some of the boxes and when I squinted real hard I was able to guess correctly and pass the test. The scary thing is, evidently there's a bunch of stuff out there that I'm not seeing at all. That's not good. "Oh, don't worry about it. I wasn't going to fail you." she said. I still can't figure it out but you can count on it, I'm going back to the optometrist this week and telling the story to her.

And the last thing I'll write about is my resolution to not buy clothing that I won't ever wear.  That would seem like a no brainer resolution, but if that were true I wouldn't have quite a few things that are now in my closet. I was looking for something to wear with a skirt this morning and since it was cool I went to the long sleeved tops and saw my colorful array of L.L. Bean turtleneck knits. Was I so enamored with the quality of L.L.Bean and so intoxicated with my ability to purchase them that I went totally out of my mind? What was I thinking? It's been ten years since I've wanted anything warm around my neck. Really, not even a round crew neck is comfortable. I need a V neck, a couple buttons I can undo, or something that can be removed (modestly of course) when I have a temperature surge. I made myself wear one today out of guilt. I also have quite a few suit jackets - same problem. Suit, jacket - I get warm just thinking the words. The only place I can wear them is in the freezer section of the supermarket, but I always forget to dress up when I go grocery shopping. How about you?

Well, I just had to say these things. Now I can rest peacefully tonight.

Needed - higher standards

I give up. I hired a friend to clean my house. It was humiliating. I thought maybe she could just clean the floors and it would make me feel so much cleaner, kind of relieve the dirt tension for a few days. But she couldn't let it go at that. For some reason she started in the bathrooms and was still there an hour later when I got home from work, planning to hit the shower with bleach for the third time. I pitched in (we used to work jobs like this together) and we got quite a bit done but she thinks it will take a couple more times to get all the places that need to be brought up to her standards. It's okay. I needed this, and I admit it feels great to have the weekend ahead of me and not have to spend any of it with the vacuum, or the mop. Thank you Z.

Confusion

Finally had to take the time to re-do my blog design. I asked my neice, whose blog I think looks really interesting, how to do it and she gave me instructions that pretty much had to start with a tab marked DESIGN. There was no tab like that on the page I usually find myself looking at. So after an hour of clicking everything that could be clicked, after being lost in page confusion three times (how did I get there before? why didn't it stay the way I set it? why does it give me 25 color choices and then say they can't apply to the design I've chosen? blah, blah, blah) I'm sticking with this cute little flower page - at least I hope it's still there - can't see it while I'm writing the post. I like it. I'll have to check with my other reader and see what she thinks.

Why did we pick January?

So... when you realize that you've been married nearly 40 years (or done anything for 40 years for that matter) and you're feeling like kicking "old" in the teeth, where do you go but to the fountain of youth, right? Well, we have one right in our own back yard, so to speak. I've tried to find it several times in past years and gotten lost, kind of like Ponce de Leon I guess, but this time I had a map and a groupon to make it more affordable. We arrived at Warm Mineral Springs around lunchtime and decided to eat first before venturing near the spring. There were tables outside but the people sitting there were wearing stocking hats, mittens and jackets (what's with that?!) so we seated ourselves inside and I got someone to take our picture to record the moment for posterity. And just who is posterity anyway, I don't know. It's a beautiful place, this spring, and the number of chairs indicated there are times of the year when lots of people come but there was no crowd for us to battle. I wore my swimsuit underneath my clothes. Dennis forgot his back on the kitchen counter (I think his subliminal desires were kicking in). After lunch we walked around and chose a spot near a ramp to settle in. I went swimming and Dennis started reading "A Dirty Life" on my kindle. Thirty nine years has taught us at least one thing - that we don't very often like to do the same activities and that it's okay. And how else could I have gotten him to read a fun book that I wanted him to read?

The spring is 87 degrees all the time, warm but not hot, and on a cold day, the trick is to stay in the water for as long as you can and then get out quickly. I got a good bit of exercise and conversed with a few other swimmers before getting out and drying off. The water was quite clean and a bit salty tasting - purported to have the highest mineral content of any spring in the country. I don't know if a body actually absorbs any of that because I don't feel any different, except from the exercise, but it was a pleasant experience and I'm glad to have finally "been there and done that".

Back at home we cleaned up, Dennis got a much needed haircut, and we took our next groupon over to Lakewood Ranch to have dinner at El Lago Ranchero. That was fun too and we have leftovers for lunch today. Finally found a place that has fresh salsa and chips just like Estellas in Tampa, not to mention the two for price of one sangrias every Saturday. So another anniversary is past, I've cleaned all the tarnish from the spring off my silver jewelry, and we are starting on the big 40.



Cambodia Aftermath

The trip was amazing in many ways. I'm not back 100% yet as far as jet lag and getting rid of this cold but have been back to work and a regular schedule since Monday. I have to figure out how to go back again. It's taken me a week to organize pictures and post to Facebook - yet after all that effort I still feel like it's an inadequate expression of what I saw and learned. I know it's possible to spend a lot of time wondering whether your life has made a difference to anyone or anything - we all have those moments I'm guessing. But here is a way to know that you can make all the difference in the world to a child, 20 children, 40 children, endless possibilities really... I'm excited about spreading the word and living out what God has shown me. Yes, God does get the credit for this and I can't wait to see what the plans are for the future. Meanwhile, if anyone would like to think about buying a really nice cashmere or cotton scarf from Cambodia I have several that I'm giving to anyone wishing to contribute to the next purchase of things for the orphan homes. Some really nice jewelry items from the Central market too...  Pictures coming soon.

Another January 14th

Today Florida is cool (50s and 60s), somewhat damp, and a little breezy - a perfect day for an outing to Warm Mineral Springs. I've heard the water is always warm there, hence the name, although geothermal energy is not usual in these parts.  There might be other things we could do today but truthfully, my Groupon is about to expire and I don't want to waste it. I've tried to find this place two other times, with out of town company, and gotten lost and given up so when it appeared as a Groupon offering I snatched it up and vowed to make it this time. And when we're finished with basking in the warm waters, and lunch we'll head up to Lakewood Ranch to use another Groupon (which expires tomorrow, what timing!) at a trendy Mexican restaurant for dinner. We are blessed in so many ways, one of them being that for 39 years we have not been traumatized by discord and divorce but have enjoyed consistent, loving companionship as we journeyed through life's adventures. Happy Anniversary husband! My kudos for your dedication to me and our marriage.

Last Day in Phnom Penh

Entry 11: Last Day

I had a less than restful night – my cold is not better today. Breathing makes me cough and my voice is so far gone that I really shouldn’t be trying to talk. I got up early because it was better than lying in bed trying to be comfortable. But I’m not so bad that I’m out of the picture on our last day.  We had some places to go and decided to pack our things before heading out in case time was short later on. My suitcase that held all the vitamins and water bottles on the way over is now full of items for gifts and resale. 

We hopped in the van this time for a ride out to Prek Eng to see the school that most of the kids attend. They have moved to this building just recently – the old building was frequently flooded and not a good choice for them. We toured and photographed. I was finally able to speak with the lady who does their health teaching and acts as the nurse for Asia’s Hope. Her name is Sarom and she had been asking about the vitamins and lice combs and wanted to make sure I didn’t leave before getting them to her. We hugged and exchanged e-mail addresses. She was in the middle of giving health lessons to a whole room full of students.  School closed for the day while we were there and after our tour we walked around the corner to the new Prek Eng 4 house. 

If you recall, Prek Eng 4 was the very small, crowded house we visited on Monday. At that time Mike and Trish had told the house father that they could make plans to move into this new house since most of the funding was in place.  Since then more money has come from Cornerstone Church to completely cover the remaining repairs and remodeling for the children to live there. All the kids came over to the house from school (that being one of the big advantages of this location – so close to the school) and met us as we took another tour.  This time, sanding and paint prep was already taking place inside and some things had been started to clean up the yard. They don’t have a lot of red tape and inspections to go through here and lots of the work had already been contracted. I took a lot of pictures so I can compare someday when it is all beautiful and lived in. It is a blessing all are thankful for and we can certainly see God’s hand in making it happen.

Lunch was once more at the Kentucky Fried Chicken by the Russian market.  Thank you Lord for familiar things like mashed potatoes and coleslaw.  At the Russian market Tyler picked up his finished suit from the tailor and although it might be a little snug across the back it looked very well done and attractive. I think I can let out the back a little for him when we get home since there isn’t time for it to be done here.

Our tuk tuk man Long took us next to see Quenie’s school that she administrates and teaches at. It’s called ABC-123 and is situated in the building that the church used to be in. This is a building that floods, which is why the church moved out, but in dry weather it is an attractive and suitable building. At least now it is only a school and not shared with the church.  It sounded to me like they could use books and teaching materials and I might be able to help with things like that in the future.

The last stop of the day was at Tuol Sleng, the genocide museum. It had been a high school before being taken over by the Khmer Rouge and turned into a prison and torture facility. What horrible things human beings are capable of doing to each other.  We saw pictures of thousands of Cambodian men, women and children who were tortured and killed. We did not go to the killing field but saw pictures of them. Mike has been there and told us what it was like. It was a very somber end to our sightseeing in this city of Phnom Penh. I would like to do some reading about that time in their history.  It has been during my lifetime and how little I knew or heard about it while it was going on!

Our plan is to wash off the dust of the city, rest up a bit and have dinner at Samaritan House before we go to the airport tonight.  I’ve heard that all the children come to the airport to say goodbye so it might be a somewhat drawn out affair.  I am not looking forward to suppressing my cough during 24 hours of flying – the tickle gets so bad I have to cough and end up sounding really sick. I don’t know how I’m going to communicate with people with my voice barely audible…  It’s been years since I’ve been sick like this but I do remember what it’s like.  I should not anticipate difficulties that haven’t happened though, it only produces anxiety.

I'm having trouble getting pics up on the blog today but I have so many good ones I want you all to see! I'll have to try again when I get home. All for now.

Out and about, Shopping and Pizza PE5

Entry 10: Thursday out and about, Prek Eng 5 goes shopping

Another one sick last night, Alyssa decided to stay put this morning and Anne stayed with her. The rest of us went tuk tukking to Khmer Tsurin, a nice (very nice) restaurant to meet one of the Hunsader’s contacts with Campus Crusade, Bourin. We had lunch with them – probably our best meal yet – and spent time talking about the miraculous spurt of growth in  Cambodia’s house churches.  Trish and Mike have worked with Bourin doing Marriage Encounter sessions with military personnel. That is a whole other story and a good one.

We went back to pick up Anne and Allysa and then went on to the Central market again to meet Prek Eng 5 for their shopping and pizza outing.  Once again, it was amazing how good the children were and how interesting it was to watch them pick out what they wanted and make decisions.  The hardest time I had was getting the PE5 staff to choose something for themselves. Monta resisted until the very end and I wonder if she just got something to get me off her case.  I have to say that Asia’s Hope kids and staff have always looked clean, well groomed and well dressed anytime I’ve seen them.  The girls like capri jeans with designs on them and lots of them got hi-top tennis shoes.  Especially at the Christmas celebration the house mothers and staff had beautiful dresses and looked fabulous. I know they don’t have much but they take care of what they have and know a bit about fashion.

The pizza parade started about 5 and I was surprised at Sorya Mall when this group went up the escalators without any balking. This was their first time at it and they did it like old pros.  The restaurant was ready for us this time and things went smoothly.  The kids all got balloons on sticks and all they could eat plus lots of attention from all the adults. Chariya was the birthday girl this time and the staff came out with cake and candles, singing to her.  I really like the pictures I took of this pizza night and have to smile as I review them. These kids are just like those in any other part of the world – when given a chance they laugh, play, tease, and have fun.

Quite a few of us were noticeably tired and maybe a bit less festive tonight and I for one was glad it was not a late night. We were taken home to Samaritan House, and I probably didn’t take more than a half hour to be in bed and asleep.

Recovery and Pizza Day with Kids

Trish and I in our tuk tuk

Although most of those stricken with food poisoning were feeling better last evening, not many actually got up and moved around much. This morning was the real test.  Quenie brought  some rice porridge which was so good and agreed with all the sensitive stomachs. Jared was able to come over – he and Chris may have had the most severe cases.  They all had remaining muscular soreness and some headaches but we were able to leave a little before noon in tuk tuks to go to the riverfront for a walk.

The river here is wide, moving fairly fast, and has high sloped cement banks. The river level is low now and it was a long way down to the water.  At street level is a park with wide paved walkways, plantings and benches, people strolling, vendors selling sunglasses, and of course a busy street.  Raw sewage flows into the river by the looks of it and down stream a little ways a woman was at waters edge washing her clothes.  A little farther, two boys were swimming in the brown water and offering their services to people who wanted to release prayer fish (my name for them).  They would be given a bag of live fish in water by a customer and then swim out and release them and the bag and swim back.  They were also diving for something, maybe snails? I suppose they were cool and wet but I can’t imagine it being very healthy.  There is constant trash, plastic, building debris, etc… floating past all the time.  I took some pictures of fishing boats where families were apparently living and hopefully making a living. This is a place once again where you see the poorest of the poor right next to very rich looking buildings and businesses.




fishing on Mekong

Further on our walk we came to a place of worship, probably Hindu, and observed some of their practices. The open building gave us a good look at the central idol which was highlighted by flashing neon lights (???) and flowers.  There was a rather brisk business going on – people buying little swallows from cages and releasing them over the river, or buying flowers and setting them before the idol.  The flowers get removed and resold from what I’ve heard. 

Lunch was at a sandwich shop close to our walk. Almost everyone ordered something but appetites were definitely not back to normal.  Several plates were barely touched.  I had a serving of noodles with vegetables and a tangy sauce, finished up Anne’s French fries and a can of ginger ale.  We relaxed there a while, enjoying the shade and the breeze (fans) as encouraged by their sign “sleep till you’re hungry, eat till you’re sleepy”.  We were also reminded in the bathroom to “please mind your head” because of the low doorway.

We had time before meeting the children to visit Sorya Mall again. I think I covered all six floors.  I bought some Angry Bird flip flops. Evidently Angry Bird is the BIG thing over here and appears on all kind of clothing and other items. I also got some Ricolla lozenges for my throat which is constantly being tickled into a cough. My voice is also nearly gone.

Next, the short walk to the Central market where we were to meet the kids.  They were a little late getting through the traffic but I was there when they were dropped off and it was much fun to see them waving and calling to me, all in their matching purple polo shirts (makes it easy to identify them in a crowd).  They all had in mind what they wanted to shop for and the boys went with Mike, Tyler , Jared, Chris and Alex while Trish, Anne and I took off with the girls. Many of them wanted shoes, high top tennis shoes in a print fabric as it turned out. I took Sulange, the cook, off to find some slacks that she needed. I’m sure it was God answering my prayer that we were able to find some that fit her, and fit the budget, in that overwhelming place.  In the hour and a half before shops began closing we were able to find something for all the kids and the staff – a true miracle.

We paraded back to Sorya Mall for our pizza supper.  Trish said someone at Cornerstone Church had wanted to give for this occasion and it was a real treat for us to see the kids fill up on wings, pizza, soft drinks – things they rarely get to experience.  Two of the boys had birthdays and the restaurant staff all came out singing to them with ice cream cakes. They blew out their candles and everyone had cake for dessert.

One of the new anxiety producing things for the kids is riding escalators.  Going down I had SoKeeA with me and although she had problems with the first flight, by the time we’d gotten to the bottom she was much more practiced and we clapped for her.  Honestly, they were the most orderly, best behaved children, equal to any I’ve met and better than most. They have such patience and never complain or beg. They always just wait until the next fun thing and are ready to smile and give you a hug. 

Goodbyes were said and Savourn took us back to Samaritan House.  I didn’t mind turning in early. The temps have to be in the 90’s during the day and it is easy to get tired and dehydrated.

Oh no...

As you can imagine, when traveling in an emerging third world country, one is always a little nervous about the food and food borne illness. We have been taking precautions, drinking bottled water, sticking to cooked food, avoiding raw vegetables and keeping the Pepto Bismol handy, nevertheless, Monday night people started getting sick.  Of the eight of us, five were stricken with  nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, some more severely than others.  We cannot figure out what the cause was even after much speculation and I guess it doesn’t matter at this point.  Trish, Alyssa and I escaped and spent the day quietly trying to look after the others and catching up on our reading and writing. In the afternoon when Mike felt he was past the worst of it and could be left alone, we did go back to the Central Market to get some things Trish had asked her vendors to bring.  And Tyler felt well enough so we went to the Russian market again to have his suit fitting. 



on the street



moto riders



For our evening meal we decided pizza would be an easy choice, especially on buy one get one free night, and Narin, our host at Samaritan House volunteered to go get it. He was going with his very young son so I decided to go along to carry the pizza boxes.  They do not use a car seat so little Dennis was on the front seat between us.  This was at rush hour in Phnom Penh.  See picture for the 10 minute total standstill at one intersection (no stoplight).  At one point Narin got a call and answered it so he had only one hand free to drive.  I looked away for a second and when I looked back Dennis had crawled up on his lap and was playing with the turn signal.  Narin raised his arm for me to take Dennis away and I lifted him back, however, he is a very shy boy and didn’t like Auntie moving him away from Papa at all.  It was one of those cries that starts out totally silent while they are drawing breath for the scream and then of course you have a lot of noise.  We did make it to Pizza World, thanks to Narin’s skill at multitasking and got back with our pizzas which were well received by those of us able to eat.



traffic jam intersection



rush hour Phnom Penh



I have been struggling with a relapse of my cough and sore throat, and my voice is on it’s way out but I am thankful not to have the other problem and hope that the next three days are days of recovery for all of us.

Prek Eng 4

Entry 7: Central Market and PE 4

For some reason we seem to be starting a little slower each day. Maybe it’s getting a little easier to sleep on our Asian style beds, making we are just getting a little more tired each day.  We weren’t up and out until nearly 11 and the first stop was Jared and Chris’s apartment. It was a really nice, secure looking building and I guarantee that their unit was one of the  most secure.  What thief in his right mind would want to walk up five flights of stairs? But there was a superb view of the city from the large balcony and the rest of the place was new and modern and very neat, especially for two bachelors

I didn’t mention it but this was our day to ride in tuk tuks, or Cambodian taxis. Jared had made friends with a particular driver who came when he called and all 8 of us got into two tuk tuks and went on to find our lunch.  Tuk tuks are everywhere, waiting for passengers. They are carts, like mini stagecoaches, that attach to motorcycles. When you travel in them you are really seeing the city up close and personal. We stopped first at a furniture shop. Jared and Chris have been exploring possibilities for an import/export business for themselves and this vendor had some unusual and good quality furniture that they were considering. I took pictures of several of the creative pieces I liked. Not many things there would fit in my suitcase though. 

Back in the tuk tuks. We were actually looking for hamburgers, of all things, and the first place we wanted to go was closed. Sorya Mall was the next stop and it had anything the American stomach could desire… pizza, burgers, ice cream, all in a modern, commercial setting.  They didn’t have western bathrooms – I’ve already gone into what that means.

The Soya Mall is a block away from Central Market and that was the next stop after burgers and fries.  It was a little more open, and a lot less claustrophobic than the Russian market but many of the same types of items for sale. Again, I wanted to watch Trish and Allysa bargain and buy, but I was starting to get the resale fever and trying to think of what I could get to earn my next trip. Trish got a lot of cute jewelry, and visited some of her favorite merchants and I actually did get a bunch of cashmere scarves and some cotton ones too. I got a good silver bracelet. Lots of low prices, lots of temptation.

Fortunately we had limited time there and by 3:30 were heading back to Samaritan house in our tuk tuks.. Our van driver was ready at 4 to take us to PE 4 for dinner with the kids. On the way we stopped to look over a house that was the next potential orphanage for the group at PE 4. It was in need of some repair and cleaning but was large, sturdy, with a big yard and several fruit trees. It didn’t really sink in how great the need was for this new house until we arrived at PE 4 a few minutes later.  There are also 20 kids in this little family and they are in a space so small – it could be considered sacrificial living. Of the two houses that Hunsaders support, this one has the older kids. They are still small people but many are teenaged and there are four adults living there as well. Three small bedrooms and an open porch area are their sleeping places.

The cooking was done outdoors on a couple of charcoal cookers and one portable gas burner. It was like a camping kitchen – with no sink, or food prep areas, or conveniences. Much of what they were doing was done down low in a squat position.  This is where my friend Sulang works – she is the cook for PE 4. She and I have the distinction of being elders in this crowd. She is 56 and I am 60. She is very flexible and can dance like a 20 year old but I still wonder if her joints ache when she has to get down on the ground and scrub pots and pans…

Girls table, mealtime prayer



The kids gave us a tour, the dinner table was set up, we all sat down to our meal. The pattern here is that the children have already eaten or have their meal in a different area. We are seated together and are served special dishes that they don’t all get to eat. Their meals are quite plain and simple, always some rice and maybe a little meat, sometimes egg and vegetables mixed in the rice, lots of fruit. They all look healthy, slim and well nourished. For us this meal was fried rice with vegetables and shrimp mixed in, spaghetti noodles with ground beef and a wonderful tomato sauce (I had three helpings of this), fried chicken, pork ribs, fried eggplant, carrots, apples and fish.  We got to sample milkfruit., For dessert we had a fruit shake made from coconut milk, milkfruit, and banana. It was really good.



Lina and Chanra (center) at PE4



Again we had an evening of crafts and fun with the kids. Everyone (even boys) got their fingernails painted, they all made bead necklaces, we all got massages and the evening ended with the children singing and performing to several of the songs they liked. They all get along so well. God has really made them to be one family when they had no family at all.  We ended with the usual half hour of hugs and goodbyes.

I have come to know both sets of houseparents for Mike and Trish’s houses and they are wonderful couples with such love for the kids and for each other. An and Smie (I’m going phonetically here because I’m not sure how they spell their names) and Ravi and Rie are close friends and the women are always laughing and  smiling about something and appear tireless to me. The men seem to know more English so they talk to us more but all four of them are very communicative and outgoing. They are very easy to love.  

Phnom Penh and Prek Eng

The last two days we have been in Phnom Penh visiting the city and the orphan houses here in Prek Eng. Here the houses are not all together and are not all the same and they are rented not owned .  On Sunday we went to church just a short walk from where we are staying where our host Naarin is pastor. Their service was familiar in many ways. They had worship led by several young men who played keyboard, guitar and drums and sang – even the songs were ones we knew and the words were projected on the screen in Khmer and English. I thought it was especially inspiring to hear the two languages being sung at once, they seemed to blend and enhance one another, and isn’t that the picture we would like to see with ourselves as a church? There were a number of English speaking people there but the majority were Cambodian so we had headphones and an interpreter for the sermon.  Mike gave a short greeting to the people and Trish, Alyssa and I sang a song for them. After the service we toured the rest of the building which is five stories high and unoccupied except for the church on the bottom level.  One of the projects in working is to use the other floors as a rooming house for university students to give them a Christian option. Many students stay in the Buddhist pagodas where it’s free but there is a feeling of obligation to the religion afterward.

Second event of the day – Kentucky Fried Chicken!  It is a big hit here in Cambodia and it was a big hit with us.  I had mash potatoes and original recipe chicken, washed down with soft serve ice cream. They have a two story building with seating upstairs and the stairs were a bit wicked on poor Alyssa and the four ice cream cones she was trying to carry. Two of them made it up to the table and she got some good bruises.



Russian market



Third event – the Russian market.  I found it a bit claustrophobic and very warm since no breeze could make it through all those mazes and stacks of clothing. Think flea market on steroids.  It was overwhelming until you got used to it.  And you are expected to bargain for what you want.  I can do that but I have no idea where it should end, or for that matter where it should start, so I hate having to bother with it. Hunsaders had been there before and knew pretty much what they wanted to look for and where it was so I followed and tried not to get lost. 

Fourth event in a busy day – dinner at Prek Eng 5. Jared Hunsader was our driver in a van borrowed from Samaritan House. We made it all the way across town and as we were pulling into the gateway of PE 5 the clutch failed utterly.  We had to push the van in.  The reason I’m telling about this is the amazing solution that came about. The house parent called a mechanic who was there within the hour on his motorbike, diagnosed the problem, rode back into the city and got the part, returned and made the repair before we were finished eating dinner.  And this was on New Year’s Eve, a holiday. Try getting that to happen in the U.S. 

While waiting for dinner to be ready I found out I could still play volleyball.  The children had been waiting eagerly for us to appear and wanted to show us around and talk and play. They are so interactive and cheerful.  Dinner was great – some Cambodian dishes, but throw in the rice that we all know and love and nothing was so unfamiliar that it wasn’t welcome.  I got to taste mangosteen for the first time.  After dinner activities were making bead necklaces and more glowsticks and of course, massage. 

Again, many of our pictures had the spots or bubbles, we’re not sure what to call them.  We are beginning to wonder if our cameras are getting a glimpse into the spirit world.  It would be nice to think we’re seeing angels guarding the children. We still have no explanation why they are there sometimes but not always.

It was a busy and productive day. We went to bed happy.

Return to Phnom Penh

Another bus ride today.  This one started out quite joyous with the children singing songs and putting barrettes and ribbons in Mike’s hair but ended up with frequent stops to throw up and quiet hurting stomachs.  Some of them get car sick and get medicated before a journey – you can tell they are the quiet ones that sleep most of the time. Others just get sick from something they ate.  They are amazingly good even when sick and just curl up in a corner of their seat or use their barf bag without being noticed. I was kind of worried about them and someone else was too because we made a stop at a roadside market for some ginger. I’m not sure it was the best thing to do because they were also selling fried crickets there and a couple bags of those got brought back on the bus too – several of us had new reasons to feel a little queasy.

The four hour ride from Battambang to Phnom Penh seemed more like eight hours – oh, wait, it was eight hours, or maybe six. I think no one here really knows how long it takes to get from one place to the other because they aren’t timing it, and there is nothing they can do to make it longer or shorter than it is, so who cares?

picnic in the field



also present at picnic



Lunch was interesting.  I was prepared for picnic because we had stopped at the market earlier for ginger, and I was prepared for eating on the side of the road because we had done that on the way to Siem Reap. But I was a little surprised when we stopped by a big Buddhist pagoda and got out on a really trashy roadside with nowhere clean to spread the mats.  As the plan unfolded we all crossed the road into a small field that wasn’t fenced, water buffalo grazing on the perimeter and spread the mats out under some shade trees.  Much better, except for the cow pies (as I write… why are there ants crawling out of my computer keyboard?).  The owner of the field kind of looked on as forty plus people camped out on his property for an hour, and then we finished and I know you want to assume we left the place better than when we came but the truth is, we threw the big bag of trash in his ditch and left. True, it had a lot of trash in it already but it still pained me to see it done.  There is a definite cultural difference in the way trash is viewed.  I asked the orphanage parents what they did with trash and they also just put it in a corner of the yard and burn it once or twice a year…. Hmmm….

So the long bus ride ended, but not until we had stopped again to wash the bus.  Seems that there is a law against having a dirty bus in the city and the police can stop and fine the driver. Is this not paradoxical? We arrived at Samaritan house and were much pleased to rest and cool off in our nice aircorned rooms.  Yes, that is not a typo.  They call it air corn.  I don’t know why.  We also had a nice supper prepared for us by Pastor Naarin’s wife Quenie.  The courtyard at Samaritan house is beautiful with plants everywhere and tables and colored lights in the trees.  That’s where I’m sitting this morning as I write. 

Battambang

Arriving in Battambang we checked into the Golden Pagoda Hotel. It was also quite acceptable and familiar to our western senses.  I guess what I’m  talking about is the toilet – if it’s a raised commode with a seat and a flush tank, they are catering to us.  If it’s a depression in the floor with a drain hole to squat over, it’s what they are accustomed to. People are more flexible in the Asian world , there is no doubt about that.  We also had the Dark Night Restaurant next door for our meals.  I wasn’t too crazy about the name but it turned out to be insignificant. 

The highlight of our day was the visit to the Battambang Asia’s Hope campus, and it really is a campus. There were seven nice houses, one so new that it hadn’t been occupied yet.  They are nicely designed with big dorm rooms for the boys and girls, rooms for parents and helpers, kitchen and eating area  and a large central hall for congregating.  This hall is open to the outside most of the time but does have large sliding doors for bad weather and security.  Everywhere we have gone there are tile or stone floors that are really quite beautiful. I have yet to see a carpet anywhere and I can certainly see the sense in that. They also take off their sandals before going inside but are tolerant of us who forget to do it. 

This was dance night and we all had been looking forward to it.  Around dusk everyone got together outside one of the houses and the music started.  It was a dance much like one would see back in the states with modern music, modern moves, some line dances, lots of rhythm and probably the notable difference was that everyone participated.  They have a good idea about keeping everyone moving in the same direction around the middle of the area. It was fun and we needed the exercise after all the sitting.

It’s hard to get good pictures in the dark but I tried taking some when Trish passed out glow sticks to all the kids. In playback I was disappointed to see marks like water drops on the pictures, assuming it was dirt on outside of the lens.  Other people had the same thing happen with their pictures but I don’t think we were aware of it until the next morning.  We all went back to the hotel around 9:30 and tumbled into bed, not necessarily to sleep. Trish and Mike get massaged (nearly to death)at every opportunity – kind of a good thing and very kindly intentioned.  I would say there is an occasional bruise but most of it feels good, I think. 

 See the strange bubbles in the picture below.